Grieving A Loss

Grieving A Loss

Grieving A LossIt is a fact of life, we are made from dirt and we will return to dirt. We were born and are destined to die at the time God has planned for us.

“All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again.”  Ecclesiastes 3:20 KJV

As a Christian, it does give us great comfort in knowing that we will meet our loved ones again in heaven and that they are in a better place with no pain. This is a promise we hold onto, but when you lose a loved one it is a bitter sweet time. Part of us is not ready to see them go while the other part is thankful they are promised that better place.

As some of you may know, we just experienced the loss of the Mountain Man’s grandfather Trayer. It was quite the emotional roller coaster ride as the physicians and medical staff continued to change their prognosis.  Grandpa beat the odds several times sharing God’s miracles with those still questioning Jesus.  Grandpa was completely at peace, knowing after 83 years of reading God’s word, that he was blessed and would be coming face to face with his creator.

Our prayer was that he would go peacefully and with no pain and God answered those prayers completely and he passed while holding his son’s hand.

We truly never know when our time will come, but it is important that we know and have accepted our savour into our hearts and have asked forgiveness of our sins, so that when that time comes we are blessed with the promise of everlasting life. Because we do not know when our time will come or if it will be sudden and unexpected to which we would never get another chance to accept him, it is best to do this immediately. Trust me when I say the rewards will be so great. He will truly add so much to your life once you accept his gifts on this earth and you will receive the blessings of life everlasting.  If you ever have questions, help or are in need of prayers, feel free to email us at prayers@trayerwilderness.com.

Grieving the loss of someone or even something such as a homestead animal or favorite pet is not an easy task. Many people feel that crying is a sign of weakness, but I am hear to tell you it is a sign that you have a heart, feelings and felt love for something special in your life. Crying is a form of therapy allowing your body to release your anxieties, feelings and stress in a healthy way. Do not hold back your tears, whether you are male or female, allow them to flow and your emotions to release. To me, it is the sign of a strong male who is willing to express his feelings and his tears. This is healthy and will help you grieve.

Please keep Grandma Trayer in your prayers while she works through this process of grieving. Her alone time is going to be the hardest after spending everyday for the last 63 years doing everything with Grandpa.

If you are currently grieving a loss or know someone who is, I recommend that you check out griefshare.org and subscribe to their daily devotional email. You will not regret doing so, their emails are very helpful. They are short and will not consume a lot of your time, but their sentiments are powerful and helpful.

“Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his face continually”. 1 Chronicles 16:11 KJV

Many struggle when they are alone and have too much time to think.

Here are some simple things you can do that may make a difference and help you through this time:

  • Find ways to keep yourself busy – such as taking up a new hobby, gather with friend’s, local bible studies, etc.
  • Listen to music that will help you to heal – Moody Radio, K-Love, etc.
  • Take care of yourself, be sure to eat healthy, rest and be good to yourself.
  • Exercise is a great way to keep your mind off of things, get your endorphins, de-stress and just help your body overall.
  • If you ever feel hopeless, lost or having feelings of hurting yourself – contact 1-(800)-273-TALK (8255) or visit www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
  • Read your bible
  • Surround yourself with good people
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help
  • If you have children that are struggling from a loss, I feel it is very important to keep the lines of communication open (when my son was little we expressed to him prior to getting any animals that there is a chance they will die at some point to help prepare him and help him to understand)

These are just a few ideas of things that may be of help to you.  I also just read the book Getting Through What You Can’t Get Over by Anita Agers-Brooks which I feel will be very helpful to you as well.

I love how my fondest memories pop up in such amazing and unusual ways.   I think of my grandparent’s every time I am canning or in my garden.  Concord grapes, apricots and coconut macaroons make me think of my Grandpa.  It is those fond memories that will be with you forever and that is why I always encourage people to take time with your loved ones.  Often, the simplest of things will provide the best memories – make those memories, cherish them and hold on tight to them!!

Sending love and prayers to those of you that are grieving and my hope is that you have found something within this post that will help you progress and heal…

God bless!

Tammy Trayer † ♥

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Coffee With Our Creator

Coffee With Our Creator

Coffee with our CreatorAH HA!!  I caught your attention and I am SO glad!

So often we get caught up in life… It sweeps us away and we don’t even realize it. We are so totally consumed with responsibility, care-taking, our work, our struggles, even our joys…

We turn around and the 7 am is now 7 pm – did we blink – have we hit a warp time zone? I wonder that some days here in the wilderness. It goes by so fast and then we worry – worry about the todo list that seems as though it grew today instead of lessening. We worry about finances, our children, the repair bill for the truck…

Sometimes life is SO good that we neglect to think that we need God…

I have found a solution my friends…

I’d like to ask you to join me over at FaithHappenings.com where I contributed this devotional.  When you click the link below it will open a new window so you can read my devotional there and when you are completed, would you take the time to leave me a comment below…  Will you join me in the mornings?

Coffee With God

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Time Spent Today, Are Memories Created For Tomorrow

Time Spent Today, Are Memories Created For Tomorrow

I’ve been spending time in my kitchen canning.  While canning I have a lot of time to think and reflect and I have been doing both.

For one, I am missing the Mountain Boy who is on his summer vacation in Pennsylvania visiting his grandparents and he happens to be my canning partner.   We have enjoyed many many hours of canning our summer harvest over the years and it is one of my favorite times spent with him.

While I was canning peaches lately it made me reminiscent of my summers spent with my own grandparents and of my fond memories.  I miss my grandparents dearly and I am SO thankful for the times that I did have with them and for the memories that were created doing sometimes nothing other than just being in each others company.

I LOVED visiting and doing garden work with them.  My grandfather was SO proud of his garden and I loved spending time picking with him.  Then my grandmother, grandfather, I and sometimes even the neighbors would join in to prepare the harvest for canning so whether we were doing green beans, lima beans, peaches or what have you, we enjoyed good conversation and quality time spent together and I was blessed to learn a skill that has traveled with me through the years.

It is funny the things that stick out to us from our past and those fond memories.  The toast and coffee always smelled better at my Mammy and Pappy’s and I am SO thankful that the Mountain Boy is enjoying spending time with his grandparents each summer and throughout the year.

As a matter a fact, the Mountain Boy spent some time doing corn with his Mammy and Pappy and both sets of his great grandparents as well.  I am so grateful that he gets to enjoy these times making memories…

Time Spent Today, Are Memories Created For Tomorrow

I feel that no matter what you do with your child or grandchild, any quality time spent with them will be well remembered.  Whether you are taking a walk, playing a board game, swimming, fishing, feeding animals, canning your harvest, picking berries, etc..  They will remember those times.  Children like to be loved and spending time without the iPhones, iPads, Kindles, TV, XBox, etc. is an opportunity to make memories, have incredible conversations, teaching a skill and spent with love.

Be sure to make a memory today!

What is your favorite thing to do with your child or grandchild?

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Marriage – What Does Your Marriage Mean To You?

Marriage – What Does Your Marriage Mean To You?

What Does Marriage Mean To You?Marriage is something I hold near and dear to my heart and take VERY seriously!

Previously I did a show on my Mountain Woman Radio titled – “Homesteading is like a Marriage”.Tammy Trayer - Homesteading is like a Marriage

The bible is the handbook the Mountain Man and I use as the foundation of our marriage.   Our wedding vows will never be disregarded and we both have the trust in our relationship with each other that there will never be concern of adultery or divorce.  Those are just not an option.  This does not mean that we do not have  struggles here and there, but it means that we are determined to work through our struggles and to be good to one another offering respect, guidance, love, kindness, forgiveness and trust to one another.  We do not go to bed angry, we take the time to work through our struggles and listen to one another.  This is something that you may need to work at and it may not always come easy, but it is worth the effort.

Society today is programmed to just give up and move on.  Divorce is an easy out, cheating on their spouse is so often displayed as ok, but this is really not so.  No one said that life would be easy, but my husband and I were raised in the regard that you NEVER give up on ANYTHING.  You apply yourself and give all of yourself and if you fail, you try, try again!!

Treating your spouse with respect and putting them before yourself can build such an amazing bond between two people.  When each of you gives of yourself freely with the intention of pleasing the other and not expecting something in return you will build such an amazing relationship – one that will stand the test of time!

Something else that I LOVE about my relationship with the Mountain Man is that I can pray freely with him.  Honestly, today I can say that I can totally be myself in front of him which provides a comfort like no other so being able to pray in front of him or needing to pray with him when we have a need or a struggle or most importantly to offer a prayer of thankfulness for ALL the blessings that come our way and for what God is yet going to do in our lives is an amazing gift that he offers me and I him.

Every day we eat our breakfast and then start our day with a devotional that not only he and I participate in, but so does our son and even any guests that may be joining us which is usually continual!  ha…   But we take that very seriously, in that our days are so much better when we start it with God asking him to lead the way for our day and guide us in everything that we need to accomplish that day and to keep us safe in all things because we are always doing strenuous manual labor often in traditional and primitive fashions which are often more dangerous.  He takes care of us and he truly guides us and blesses us beyond our wildest dreams!

The book we use for our bible study is called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young (which was a gift given by my dear friend Rachel and this is a gift that keeps on giving and giving)  and we also use the Jesus Calling:  365 Devotionals for Kids as well.   What we do is have the Mountain Boy read his devotional for the day and then I read from my book.  They are on the same subject, but worded a bit differently and it poses great conversation and perspectives on the same subject.  We gain a lot from this book – so much that this is our 2nd year using the same book and it is endless knowledge gained and it always seems completely on topic for things that are going on for our family!  I highly encourage these two books and I feel this is such a great gift for friends, family, children and grandchildren.

SO I challenge you to take a look at your marriage – What Does Your Marriage Mean To You?  (I would love for you to share this with me!)

Are there things you can do personally to improve your marriage?  Do you pray together as husband and wife?  Do you take your struggles, needs and blessings to God in prayer?  Do your children see Godly parents?

Below you will find some outstanding links, resources and references and a 2 part video bible study that we we feel is a FANTASTIC resource for you to do together!

We have been following Cody with his YouTube channel WranglerStar for a long time.   I have been trying to hook up with him for an interview on my radio show, but he is one busy man.  So hopefully in the not to awful future I will be able to have him join me so he can share his story and his faith with you.  In the meantime though, PLEASE check out his channel and be sure to watch/listen to the 2 part series titled Keys For A Happy Marriage with your spouse or even your future spouse.  The Mountain Man and I greatly enjoyed the series ourselves and feel that it is a great tool for all marriages no matter how little or how long you have been married.

Keys For A Happy Marriage – Part 1

Keys For A Happy Marriage – Part 2

Cody shared what I feel is an amazing resource when he shared the Bible Study notes that he was using which can be found here.   The Bible Study notes came from a website called AmazingFacts.org.  I encourage you to check out that resources as well as these:  FocusOnTheFamily.org, FaithHappenings.comKLove.org and MoodyRadio.org.

Here is a great resource for your children which will provide them with amazing Christian content:  http://whitsend.org which is also part of FocusOnTheFamily.org.

I hope that you have gained something from this post and I encourage you to put God 1st in your home and to take time as husband and wife to fellowship and pray together.

Our lives are SO amazing because we put God 1st and share a respectful God led marriage.  God is in our home and we can see his hand and SO SO many blessings.

May you enjoy the same and may your lives be richly blessed!

God Bless!

Tammy Trayer † ♥

 

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The Profound Blessing of Simple Pleasures

The Profound Blessing of Simple Pleasures

the profound blessings of simple pleasuresWhile I sit here in the quiet of another beautiful morning in the Idaho wilderness, I am in awe of all my blessings.

I enjoy starting my day early. I start my day by spending some quiet and much needed time with God, typically in a very quiet and wonderful spot. Taking in the sounds and beauties around me while I lay it all out there for God’s ears. I share my heart and soul with this man, my needs, my heartaches, my joys, my blessings and most of all my thanks for what he has done and what he is going to do! He is my ROCK!

There was a time that I depended more on myself and my own understanding, but my life fully changed when I gave credit where credit was due. He really is there, he really does listen, he really does care and he will answer your quiet prayers, but in his time. This sometimes can be the hardest part – the wait – which will be a whole other post in itself, but I have found the best way to start my day is with God.

Opening your heart and mind and communing with God allows me to see clearer what he is trying to share with me and where he is guiding me. This my friend is when I see and hear the Simple Pleasures that he has blessed me with!  Look around you and be sure to thank God for what he has done and best of all, what he is going to do!

Have you taken time out of your schedule for God today?

Do you see the Simple Pleasures and Blessings that he has placed around you?

They are there!  Often, we are just to busy to take time to see them….  Don’t just stop to smell the wild flowers, but to see them too…..

“Give unto the Lord the glory due to His name; worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness.”  – Psalm 29:2 NKJV

 Psalms 29  2

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The True Blessings of Homeschooling a Special Needs Child

The True Blessings of Homeschooling a Special Needs Child

The Blessings of Homeschooling a Special Needs ChildHomeschooling my son Austin has been just that, a True Blessing!

Some of you have been following our successes, but for those of you that are new to our story, you may want to read this About the Trayer’s and you may also be interested in hearing how we overcame nearly 97% of my sons autistic and asperger tendencies here:  http://trayerwilderness.com/what-we-have-learned-and-conquered-with-autism.

Schooling today is a difficult subject no matter if you have a special needs child or not and no matter if you are homeschooling or your child is in a public school! Our son was part of the public school system up until he finished his 7th grade school year.   We then relocated from PA to ID in 2010 and Austin was again scheduled for the public school here in ID.

Now let me jump back in time a bit here. We had a LOT of struggles, especially in Austin’s early years, but one thing that stands apart from those struggles were the angels that we were blessed to have cross our path.

Every school he attended and every teacher and principal he had were amazing and together we worked as a team for the betterment of Austin. We were blessed and I know this does not happen for everyone. So if you are reading this and your child is in a public school and you are NOT able to homeschool for whatever reason – I’d like to encourage you to make amends with the teachers and principals and try to work together with them and with your IEP. If you do not have an IEP you need to get one – it is an Individualized Education Program which should be designed to help your child grow in a positive way in the public school system. There are often times county programs available to your child as well such as speech therapy, mobile therapists and more. Please check to see what is available to you during this time. The more you put in place while your child is still young the better the improvements and successes will be. Another thing I would like to encourage is to NEVER give up on your child!! If one thing doesn’t work find something that does, if one person is not working well with your child seek another and the same goes for a doctor. I also found that kindness on my part and a positive spirit got me so much further and more than anything I wanted the best relationships I could get with the individuals that would be caring for my child!

I also found that holding my son accountable both at home and at school for his mistakes and poor behavior at school made a big difference. I also did not allow the school to change the rules for him at school – for example he got very upset when playing games when he would lose so they wanted to change the rules to the game to make it easier. I would not allow that because I felt they were setting him up for failure later in life when he would expect rules to molded to him. If he was going to live a real life he needed to live with real rules – no false hopes. This may sound harsh, BUT it made him accountable for his actions and it instilled in him a reason to work harder.

Now let’s jump ahead again to 2010. Austin was tested at the new school in Idaho and again we were blessed with teachers and a principal that were REALLY going the extra mile to help us out. I have always thought about homeschooling my son, but because I am a self employed web designer and a writer I did not want my work to jeopardize his education so being afraid that I would not be able to give him enough time I refrained from doing so.

Now we are not your average American family. We call ourselves EMBRACERS! When God opens doors for us, we are good and obedient and we jump in with both feet and scream hallelujah. In moving to Idaho in 2010 we arrived at our overgrown raw wilderness land with no utilities that we purchased site unseen from PA, setup an 8′ x 14′ canvas wall tent that we called home for the next 8 1/2 months. This adventure started in May, so when the school contacted us and informed us that Austin’s bus stop was at 6:30 am more than 3 miles from our home this started us thinking. We were still living in the wall tent, still building our home ourselves, we did not yet have running water on site so showers were definitely not a daily thing and our lane wasn’t passable in the Spring and Winter months SO we decided that this was God’s time for me to start homeschooling! We did move into our home that December on Austin’s birthday and we are living a 100% off-grid lifestyle with solar power.

Honestly, this was the BEST thing I could have ever done for my son. Being a part of the public school system was very overwhelming and overstimulating for him. When we arrived here in Idaho he was going into 8th grade, but was academically between 3rd and 4th grade so he was also very behind due to all the distractions.

I had several friend’s using Alpha Omega Publications and the Switched On Schoolhouse program. This is available in both textbook or software programs. I chose the pc version of the program because Austin was a very quick learner on the computer and from the start he LOVED it! This program allows your child to work at their own pace. Austin loved it so much that the 1st and 2nd year using the program he actually did two school years in one!! Woot woot! So we quickly started filling the learning gap that had formed. He enjoyed what he was doing, we found a location that worked for him and he was determined to do well. I think often our children’s biggest struggle in the public school system is their unhappiness with themselves because they want to do well and have a hard time doing this with so many distractions in big classrooms. Austin was blessed to be in a classroom of eight, but even this was too distracting for him.

Now did we struggle once we started homeschooling? Yes sometimes, but not near as often as we had previously done just trying to do homework. He was so wore out from school, trying to do homework was a complete nightmare. Something else that often would happen and I am sure that you can relate is Austin and I, as we coined it, would disconnect!

Often times our children are trying to tell us something and we are not always listening OR they are not telling you directly what the problem is so you have to learn to read between the lines. We need to become very good detectives, super good listeners and accumulate a LOT of patience, love and kindness!

When Austin is learning something new I can usually count on some sort of a struggle. Now with his current age he is able to tell me better what is bugging him, but sometimes his frustrations were not clear so when this would occur I would give him 15 to 20 minutes doing something physical such as riding a bike, going for a walk, or jumping on a trampoline because it would get his endorphins moving and clear away his stresses. 9 times out of 10 he would come back refreshed and with his brain functioning in high gear. Don’t let situations like this get heated, just give them a few minutes and yourself a few minutes and see what happens. We would often times even go for a walk together and by the end of the walk we were both laughing and having a good time so my endorphins were moving too! 🙂

Something else I found is that our children learn differently. Most times they are more visual learners and I found a GREAT tool for when my hand drawn graphics, diagrams or problems were not getting through to him, I would open up Khanacadamy.org and search their learning files for their version of what I was trying to teach. What is funny, is several times Khan Academy was doing the same exact thing, but he got it! So don’t wear yourself out, use other resources that are available to you.

Something else to remember, if you are having a bad day or your child is having a bad day and it is not looking like there will be recovery from your child’s maybe overstimulation or being overwhelmed, there is no sense pushing forward because nothing productive will come of it. End your school day there and maybe teach a life skill. Go for a walk together and come back and make a dessert or dinner together and start fresh the next day.

The trick is learning what works best for your child and also keep in mind that as your child ages, their approach and methods may change. This also applies to you – do what works best for you and maybe your methods will change as you go. You are the teacher now, so be creative, have fun and don’t sweat the small stuff!

Do you have questions? Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me…

 

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