We typically write and video things that are happening on the homestead to share and educate our audience. This is a bit of a different season for us. Although we still have projects and we are living life, we are also dealing with an unexpected setback and illness. This season has also brought lessons to which I feel are essential to share.
When a family is faced with adversity they pull together as a team and work through it, but when one is sick and suffering it bring new challenges.
Everyone deals with their feelings, fears and struggles in different ways, but the key to these situations is extremely good communication. Honestly, good communication is an essential to everyday living, but it is something that many have to work at. Along with good communication comes understanding to which is a key to success in life, marriage and truly all aspects of living.
Good communication is the doorway to understanding. It can help others to understand how you are feeling and why you may be acting the way that you are, it can keep people from stuffing their feelings or even denying them which in turn will cause other problems and it can also help to relieve stress and provide comfort.
As many of you know, my son Austin is high functioning autistic and although he has overcome 97% of autism there are times when you can see autism shining through. During this chapter in our lives, I have seen Austin struggling. This is something he has never had to deal with, it is new. He is typically a very kind, helpful and good natured young man and during this time he has been displaying a lot of anger and lashing out. Knowing this is not normal behavior for him, I have tried to keep in close communication with him to help him through this time.
Men are not typically talkers, they keep their deepest feelings to themselves, but I have made it a point to draw their feelings to the surface during this time so we can help each other through this process.
In communicating with my son this morning, he shared that he is putting his total trust in God and pushing his feelings aside. Although it is a good thing to put his trust in God, it is not good to push his feelings aside. I shared with him that by pushing his feelings aside it was causing his feelings to surface in anger and mouthiness. Having these conversations helps our children to better understand their feelings and to understand that it is ok to express their feelings and to talk about them and even to cry.
It is hard to watch a loved one in pain, not being able to do the things they normally do and to see sickness taking over. Communication, understanding, compassion and patience also play a role during these times.
Our men process things differently than we do and they too will deal with worry and fear differently as well. They are fixers and hurt inside when they are unable to fix and repair. They often feel helpless so while these situations are present it is important to remember each others feelings and ways in which they processing things.
Although I am unable to do the things I would normally do with my family, even going for a short walk has been hard so being creative has been helpful in still keep a window and time open to do something special with each of them. I spend time with the Mountain Boy, playing board, dice and card games, watching movies or YouTube and reading together. We also have a special time set aside to do devotions together which has become a very cherished time for us.
I spend time snuggling with the Mountain Man and discussing our dreams, our plans for the year and watching varied YouTube videos.. We are always taking time to educate ourselves and continue learning and YouTube is a great resource for knowledge. There are several channels (you will be able to find them soon in our resource pages) that are very similar to our Trayer Wilderness channel to which we enjoy and can always glean information from.
We never know what tomorrow will offer us, but God uses every circumstance in our lives to build us and mold us as he sees fit. I was recently asked. “If I could go back in time, what would I change?” The answer to that question was nothing! I have gone through some pretty rough spots in my life, but in looking back I can see how God used each of those times to build me, mold me and make me who I am today and I am thankful to be where I am and happy with who I have become.
So as you may also be weathering a certain storm along with me, look for the blessings, keep communications open, pull closer to God and your family and allow God to use this time to mold you and bring you to the next stage in your life!
There is always something beautiful on the other side of adversity!
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